So another Spring is around the corner, and I can't believe how fast the last few years have gone. The last 4 years have really been a whirlwind, since having 3 little girls in 3 years has kept me very busy. Not only busy, but really feeling most of the time like I'm running to catch up, and not accomplishing most of what seems important. I keep looking forward to the day when I'm leading and directing instead of feeling like I'm just barely keeping up. It has been an emotional roller coaster since Madison was born, and I've gone from feeling like I *can do it, to feeling like I'm a complete failure.
The training and loving of toddlers is a tasking adventure, even when you have one. I've had three, (this time around with toddlers) and it seems to take forever to move from toddler to preschooler. Hannah is finally becoming the sweet and (sometimes) obedient little girl I've been praying she would be. Abigail is clinging to toddlerhood in some areas, but also blossoming into a sweet and loving little girl. Madison is a whole new world for me, and I think I've mentally kept her a baby. She is so smart though, and wanting to do everything her sisters are doing. She loves to color and draw with them, and follows them around and joins in their play.
Seth and Ethan are fast approaching little men. I worry about Seth sometimes, as he is such a young "man" most of the time. But, he loves to play with his siblings and isn't afraid to love and kiss on them. He wants me to adopt more children. We need a girl (he says) in between Ethan and Hannah to help play with the girls. (not happening that *I know of) Ethan is content to play either toddler games, or hang with his brother playing board games or whatever.
Having a large family has so many dynamics. I never considered how many directions your children can go at once. How do I pull it all together in a cohesive manner? Most days I don't. There are times when everyone is needing me at once, and times when they are all building forts or playing with Legos together. Times when Seth is picking on some younger sibling or other, and all the kids are screaming. (sometimes in joy, sometimes in anger)
At times I do get a glimpse of what life will be like in a little more time. A little more organized, a little less pressured.
I have hope, and faith that that growing up in this family will be a blessing. :)